I'm totally & completely wordless. if not a little bit "too" happy.
You remember a few posts back when I mentioned that I kept having dreams about old friends that used to be in my life, & in these dreams they forgave me for everything I did & we moved forward?!
Well this evening that's kinda, sorta, happened. Earlier today a friend of mine text me saying one of my old friends wanted to speak with me, as you can imagine I was totally shell-shocked (jesus, I still am) but I was also scared that I was going to get a load of crap. so later this evening I plucked up the courage to Email her & to my surprise I got a mail right back. We must of been talking for a good few hours & maybe its just me, but I think I might finely be on the way to feeling like i'm more at peace with myself! just speaking with her has made me feel so much better. For months now, no scratch that, for 2 years I have been wanting to get in contact & sort things between us but I just haven't had the balls to do so! & tonight she came to me, & after everything that went down between us, I give her a massive amount of credit for that.
At the same time I also want to thank her, I haven't been able to speak with anybody about what we spoke about & it's been eating away at me for months! I couldn't even open up to my counciller about it :s but with her, I duno, maybe it was because I haven't seen nor heard from her in literally years so in a sense she's abit like a stranger to me now so it just came right out?!
I'm really hoping that in time we can put the past to bed, wipe the slate clean & build something new? I'm not going to let myself hope for to much, but if she is willing to work on stuff with me, then i'm eternally grateful because I myself personally don't think I deserve her being so nice & understanding, but I guess when it all boils down to it, she's more of an adult than I thought she was...