I really wanted to write a decent post tonight, but I really don't know how to put it into words. so I think it's going to be more of a ramble.... Sorry!
I feel like my head is all over the place. One minute i'm happy as a pig in turd & the next I feel like an emotional wreck. I don't know what to think anymore. Me & my husband have been trying for a baby since September 2O12 (only 6 months) but this month i'm late, I got a faint positive on a test 3 days before my due date & then afterwards I got all negatives, & trust me, I did another 7 tests! I'm just not convinced! my body feels so different, i'm bloated, full of wind, can't stop eating certain things, i'm peeing alot & my boobs are constantly either achin or twingin! i'm honestly beginning to think that maybe because I want this more than anything at the moment, that it's all in my head?!
Suppose it doesn't really help when nearly everybody around me is falling pregnant at the drop of a hat & i'm so jealous. I feel awful for saying it, but it's true! People keep tellin me to go to the doctors, but what are they going to do? make me piss on another stick for it to just come up negative again?!! argh, its so frustrating! 2 years I tried for my son, & I really don't fancy waiting that long again! Normally my periods are either a few days early or right on time, so this isn't normal for me & I don't understand how my periods can go from being normal to being like this, unless I was pregnant?!! I even came up with the thought a few nights back that maybe if me & my husband had a good "romp" it would bring my period on. but instead it just caused horrible tummy cramps & no period came! HAHAHA! :S
I'm completely stuck in Limbo at the moment & I HATE IT to be totally honest.
Again i'm really sorry for the mind fuck post but I just needed to get a few things off my chest.
I am going to make an appointment tomorrow, I duno, maybe I can get them to send me for blood tests of something because it's clear to me that a pregnancy test isn't doing shite :L
thank you for reading my "I feel sorry for myself post"
Until next time Bloggers..............Xxx