Sunday, 28 April 2013

Diary entry #1 - It's hard to be friends with somebody who suffers depression.

Diary entry #1

Today I have come to the conclusion that I hate Facebook. 

It is nothing more than a site full to the brim of competitive people. Since I had my son in 2010 I have been apart of a few mums groups & well, in my opinion they're all the same, people constantly in competition with each other over their children, making out they have a perfect life.. fake much? I have never been one to portray myself as somebody I'm not & because of this i'm a number 1 hated enemy on Facebook by ALOT of people - does this bother me? does it hell, at the end of the day none of these people have met me, none of them know what it's like to live their life in my shoes. I am slowly beginning to learn that I shouldn't share things with people on Facebook because more than not, it just 
gets thrown back in your face & used against you when they no longer want to be friends with you.. 

In both real life & online I have lost friends due to my depression, people say I use it as an excuse but I really don't, if these people suffered depression as serverely as I do then they'd understand how bad things can actually get, but lucky for them, they don't & I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy! one day I hope to beat this motherfucker & be able to be free! but for the time being i'm enjoying keeping myself to myself & just concentrating on my family! 
at the end of the day, whenever I get involved in friendships & then have a bad day with my depression people only tend to see what they want to see & that is the demon within me! they don't stop & think wait a second she's really struggling here they just brand me evil & that's that!

so I say fuck facebook & it's judgmental mothers I don't need any of them! eventually I will get through this & I hope for their sakes none of them ever have tosuffer this like I have because no fucker will be there for them because when it comes to Facebook, its FUCK OR BE FUCKED. 

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