Thursday, 15 August 2013

Diary Post #38 *Update! today is a shit day*

Dear Diary... 

I'm not entirely sure on how I have even been feeling this last week, I have experienced so many emotions it's been rather overwhelming in all fairness. Even now I still find myself reeling... I thought I had lost my best friend but then we "sorted" things out, but for me things still feel just a little awkward, so I am finding myself not talking her much because I don't feel I deserve being able to talk to her for the way i've been with her this last week.... 

Part of me actually wonders why she even stayed around & bothered? Nobody else ever did. 
but I guess that is also my insecurities talking, i'm not having a very good day today to be totally honest, my anxiety is through the roof & I just want to curl up in my duvet & stay there for the rest of the day. Even though we are sorting through things i'm still feeling lost & alone & I can't work out why? 

I'm not even quite sure why I am even writing this post because it's probably not even making sense, in my head I wanted to blog, I needed to do a new post to get things written down to help straighten out my thoughts but now i'm not even really sure what I even wanted to blog about. I hate having days like this because it proves everybody right, that i'm not sorted, & that I am infact a mess, i'm nowhere near the end of that tunnel, infact today I feel as though I have stopped half way & can't seem to start myself again.... 

Today my life totally sucks. :(

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