Monday, 30 December 2013

Diary Post #58 *Slowly beating Depression*

Dear Diary.. 

As 2013 comes to a close I truly believe that I have begun to beat my depression. I have an amazing hobby that tends to take up alot of my time, so I am not sat "dwelling" & "Stewing" on things that cannot be fixed. To some it might seem stupid & pointless that I collect & breed tropical fish, but to me it is something that I really enjoy! Some people enjoy crafting, some people enjoying writing etc, but I really enjoy my fish. They have brought me through so much over the past 6 months! Just sitting & watching them swim round in their own little world is relaxing. I started with my fish obsession in June, just after my depression hit an all time low, I began to push people away & I did treat a few rather horribly. so I decided to put all my positive energy into something that I would really enjoy. At first I just bought a couple of Goldfish as pets, but then the obsession began when I saw a neighbors tank & they had tropical fish. I now have 6-8 different types of tropical fish in my 4 foot community tank. 

Don't get me wrong I am still working on my Anxiety & I still have days when I think "the world is ending" but it never lasts too long. After six months of concentrating on my hobby & of course seeing my councillor, I began to feel more like myself, so I began the process of building bridges with as many people as I could that I had hurt or pushed away. This also had a massive affect on me & I began to feel even better about myself for putting things right. 

I don't hold grudges & I never have. I see things as, if you can resolve a problem with one or two people & you are both willing to put the past to bed & start again, then why not? because I have already begun to realize that, if you hold onto the past, you are hurting nobody but yourself. 

So as we go into the fresh new year of 2014, I am also going to start with a fresh new mind & a new way of thinking... 

* Do not dwell on what cannot be fixed.
* Positive thoughts create a positive mind. 
* Surround yourself with those who want to help lift you up & not bring you down. 

So, with that, I hope everybody had a fantastic NYE tomorrow & I wish you all the very best for 2014. 
Stay positive guys & always remember, Depression isn't wekaness, nor is it anything to be ashamed of. Depression is a sign of strength because it mieans no matter how weak your mind might be to you, your heart is still strong enough to feel. 

Hold your head up high & always be proud of who you are. :)

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