Introducing Baby Bean. :)
As most of you know, on Christmas Eve I had my 12 weeks dating scan were I found out that I was 11 weeks & 5 days pregnant. (I am 12 weeks & 2 days pregnant now) so my guessing was only 5 days out. My due date is now 10th July 2014.
It had to be the most amazing yet surreal moment in my entire life. I was so scared & so nervous, but the minute I saw my little bean moving around on that screen & his little heart drumming away all the worry just washed away & I totally melted. It really was just the best thing ever, especially since we had Joel there with us, he was sat on his nanna's knee with an almighty smile on his face & he nearly had me in tears when he pointed at the screen & said "that's my baby, mummy daddy." :D
The only bummer was that when I saw my consultant after my scan, I told him all about everything that had happened when I had Joel & he seems to think that the best route this time round would be for me to have an elective section. He is going to find my notes from when I had Joel & have a look through them to see what actually happened (because I don't know the full extent) & then when we have our 20 weeks scan on 26th February I will then find out aftrwards when we see him again if I get to have a natural birth or if I will be getting booking in for a section. Either way I kind of expected it, because looking back now I remember the lady who preformed my section with Joel mentioning something to do with my pelvis & that being why Joel got stuck. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter to me how my baby enters the world, just as long as he enters the world safe & healthy.
At our 20 weeks scan we shall also be finding out if this baby also suffers with CCAM, the same condition as Joel. We are hoping with all our hearts that he doesn't, but if he does then I guess the positive this time round would be that we will know exactly what's coming & what to expect, whereas with Joel we didn't know anything & it was scary as hell. When I think about this baby having the same condition as Joel, it does scare me, but then I also have to think "Look at Joel" he got through it & is now a beautiful, healthy 3 year old so I know in the bottom of my heart that we can get this baby through it too because I would never ever give up on my children.
My babies are what make me who I am & why I continue to fight my demons.
I am strong because of them & I love my babies with all my heart. Xxxx