Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Diary Post #58.

Dear Diary.. 

I am not going to lie, Unfortunaetely, Neil lost his previous job on 20th June, when I was 38 weeks pregnant, but as luck would have it, somebody was clearly looking down on us, as Neil managed to bag himself a new job just after I had given birth, a week later! & his start date is in 2 weeks time. (11th August) This means by the time he does go back to work, he will of had a whole 6 weeks at home with us, & in a way, it's kinda worked out really good, because with me still recovering from my section & a few other problems, that meant I have had him around at home to help with alot of things & he's also been able to enjoy spending time with our newborn daughter, aswell as spending time with our son! 

Him being at home has also meant I have been able to "get into the swing" of being a mummy of two & I haven't been pushed into the deep end & had to deal with two children all on my own before I was ready, wereas if he was still in his previous job, we'd of only gotten two weeks of him being at home! so I guess it's worked out for the better in that respect, but now because he's been at home so much i'm worried about how I will cope alone, all day long with a newborn & a 3 year old, on top of that it's the summer holidays too so Joel is not in nursery for another 4 weeks & he has ALOT of energy! I was hoping that by now I would be well enough to be able to take him out to "stay & plays" at our local childrens centre & other places so that he wasn't stuck in the house bored, but with me currently suffering with two infections, I can't be on my feet for too long before I start suffering with a fair bit of pain! :( 

I just feel like a bit of a crap mum! & I am actually sat wishing the summer holidays would hurry up & end just so I can take him to nursery so he has something "different" to do, because being stuck in the house with me & his newborn sister all day only having the garden to play in & his toys around the house to entertain himself must get rather boring pretty fast. 

A few times he has been over the road to play with the neighbors little girl & they even took him out for the day last weekend which was so kind of them, but I am sat here wishing that was me! wishing I could go on long walks with him, take his football, & spend lots of time out in the sun!

I guess I just feel pretty useless right now... 
I can't wait to be feeling better, & be able to do all the things I actually had planned for this summer! because as it stands right now, we haven't done none. poor kid. 

Entertaining Joel the best I could with a few phone selfies! :) 

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