Saturday, 9 August 2014

Diary Post #59

Dear Diary... 

This time a year & half ago I was at my breaking point trying to cope with my depression & I was an absolute mess. I took everything out on those closest to me & was just hitting out at everyone, this caused me to lose alot of friends, which made me sink deeper, & if truth be told, it wasn't until I almost lost my husband that I finally realized, I needed to stop being a total bellend, get my shit together & sort my life out. if not for myself, then for my husband & my son! Now though, a year & half later I feel i've made a complete u turn & definitely sorted my head out! I haven't been on my medication since the beginning of 2013, I finished my councillng sessions June 2013 & I feel like a totally different person! don't get me wrong, I still have the odd 'off' day were my anxiety plays up or I feel low but at least now I can actually say 'I need help' which took me a long time to do, & I am so proud of myself for that. All those people on mums groups that told I can't cope with the child I have so I shouldn't have another, look at me now!! I fought my demons & came out the other side a happier person & i'd also like to think, a better person too?!
 I now know, that with my husband by my side & my babies to love, I am never going back to being that dark, depressed horrible person that I was all them months ago! onwards & upwards!!

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