Monday, 15 December 2014

Diary Post #67. "Haunted"

Dear Diary.. 

On the 5th December 2003 I witnessed something I will never ever forget.

I was meeting a friend, I was sat waiting in the boat benches on Blake Street, an argument broke out between two brothers, I dont remember what was said, but I decided to be nosey & watch what was happening.... I wish I hadn't now because the incident that unfolded before my very eyes has haunted me for the past 11 years. 

The boys were arguing, this went on for a good 10-15 minutes before the youngest looking lad then approached a parked car & asked the driver to run him down.. obviously the driver refused, & the next thing I knew, I saw a car coming down the street, my first thought was, "oh god he isnt going to jump infront of that car is he?" then everything after that just seem to happen so quickly that nobody could stop it! the car slowed to go over some speed bumps & then as it sped up again to carry on the young lad then dived out infront of it & went straight underneath the car head first.. the part that I just cant seem to forget, is seeing the driver slam on the breaks & the lad being dragged half a mile down the street underneath the car before it actually stopped, then when the car did stop, he rolled out from underneath it & was left lying in the middle of the road unconcious, & tyre marks covering his head.

Straight away I bolted over towards him, someone grabbed his coat from the side of the road & placed it over him & someone else called an ambulance! I was stood shaking, pure numb & all I could hear was his brother screaming the worst blood curdling scream I have ever heard in my life! he then bolted off in a different direction, I presumed to get help. 

as we waited for the ambulance, his best friend arrived & crouched down beside him, he was crying & craddling him in his arms, the lad was making some horrific noises, them noises still haunt me now. I stayed glued to the same spot for approximetely an hour.. I didnt move, I watched the paramedics tend to him, I watched him being placed in the amublance & I watched them take him away.. Police then started blocking off the street, a white line was drawn around his body on the road before he was moved. I just stood, completely numb watching officers speaking to people & asking what happened.. an officer then spoke to me, clearly saw I was in shock & sat me down, he asked my name & address & told me that an officer would be visiting my house to get a full statement from me as I told him that I had seen everything..

Two days later, 7th December 2003, Paul Price, aged just 18, was front page in the paper, his injuries had been so server that he didn't make it... I remember reading the headline "TEENAGE BOY DIES AFTER HORRIFIC ACCIDENT" & then I completely broke down in tears! I so wanted him to pull through, after that was when the dreams & nightmares started, even now, I still relive that scene all over again! for weeks I didnt eat, & I couldnt sleep! People at school knew him personally & they were all talking about it like they were there, meanwhile I just sat silently thinking "you're lucky you weren't there"

I found out from the paper when his funeral was to be held & I decided to go to pay my respects! I stayed right at the back, & I was just completely numb. 11 years on, I can no longer listen to Black Eyed Peas "were is the love" because all I see is the accident replaying over & over in my head.. & the curtain closing over on his coffin at the end of his service! 

i've had councilling & nothing has worked, every year I think about it, no matter how hard I try not too it just pops into my head.. I am terrified of my 4 year old son going anywhere near a road & its after this that my anxiety started. 

If I had one wish this Christmas it would be for Paul to be here celebrating with his family & his friends, but instead they have to spend it without him.. I dont know if his intentions were to kill himself, or if he just wanted to hurt himself, & I guess we never will know what was going through his head that night. :(

Rest in peace Paul,

always remembered 
& never forgotten. <3

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