Friday, 27 May 2016

A day in the life of Hydrocephalus, Manic Depression, & now Glaucoma too! (yey)

Dear Diary,
So yesterday, I made an an appointment with my neurosurgeon (well I activated the referral) after my GP had sent the referral over due to me suffering constant migraines, nausea, blurred vision & dizziness. I did the click & book think online, but got so frustrated & confused I ended up phone the hospital in the end & sorting it that way. anyways, I got there eventually & in due course an appointment will be sent out to me in the post (sooner rather than later I hope) not going to lie, these migraines/headaches are one on top of the other, all the symptoms are there from when my shunt failed last year & I am bricking it. I am so scared, I have never been so scared in my entire life. fair enough, when it all happened last year I didn't know much of what was going on because I was far more poorly than I am now, but at the same time, I "felt" normal so it was a huge shock when I was told my shunt had failed & I guess that's what is scaring me now. I am spending as much time as I can stress-free as the stress really doesnt help the situation, & I am also spending a lot of time resting in bed, which sometimes makes me feel soo guilty because that means I am leaving my husband to do everything for our children, he doesn't mind in fact he'd rather I be in bed resting, but I still feel guilty. I just feel so worn out, fed up, deflated & useless. some days I think my family would be better off if I just drifted off in my sleep & didn't wake back up!
On top of all this, I had my eyes tested on Wednesday, & last year I was showing the early signs of Glaucoma, & now, it has worsened & so had my eye sight, so I am needing yet ANOTHER referral, but to the glaucoma clinic this time, I have been told that it will more than likely mean medications &/or dropd for the rest of my life to control the disease, just another illness to add to my list I guess. On the positive side, I am hoping that the deterioration of my glaucoma, could be the culprit to my headaches, I know its bad to say its good, but I would rather it be that & be controlled with meds, rather than it being my shunts & there being not much anyone can do & me having to live like this! I will of course keep you updated & let you know when my appointment(s) come through.

Thank you for reading, tale care of yourself, & treasure your health, as for some including myself, its not as positive. I don't really want to end this post on a negative note because although I am struggling rather a lot right now, I am also trying to stay as positive as I can, & this post that I saw, made me laugh rather a lot.

I hope you find it as amusing as I did,
thank you for reading! Xxx

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